Regret Free Parenting

Regret Free Parenting
Author: Catherine Hickem, LCSW
Publisher: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2011

While the title indicates this book is for both parents, it is actually written to moms by a mom about being a mother. While many of the ideas could be applied to being a dad, it is really about being a mom.

For those parents who are fond of attachment parenting, this book is for you. I found this book to be very validating and encouraging. Being one who prescribes to the theory that the more time with my child the better, I have been condemned on more than one occasion for my involvement with my child. Hickem encourages involvement and even has a chapter on how to be involved and not controlling. She points out many, many times that being involved with your children is not controlling their every move but knowing them inside and out so you can encourage them and empower them to be strong, Christian adults.

She talks about the importance of living in the moment for our children and not being distracted by cell phones and computers when we are spending time with them. She explains the importance of giving them our time and attention even when we think they don't need it.

All this flies in the face of previous theories that attributed spoiled, misbehaving children on the fact that parents spent TOO MUCH time with their children. She argues that it is just the opposite.

At the end of the book, Hickem lays out a plan to help the unattached parent to regain the relationship they are desiring with their children. The plan is simple and encouraging. In fact, all throughout the book, she is encouraging and never judgmental. And never does she say there is such a thing as a perfect parent. She just says we should live each day "intentionally." My version of the word....Live in the moment!